Where Do I Begin?

Sometimes it takes brutal honesty to really come to terms with what's going on. It usually needs to come from someone you love...and it tends to spew forth when that person has been injured. They don't take it back because, well, it's real.  You will cry. You will hurt for a very long time. You'll probably feel angry with that person for being so rude and so wrong. How dare they! But then it'll sink in and you'll see.

 That's what happened with me. I knew I'd been getting heavy..my clothes weren't exactly tiny. But I knew my heart and I loved my personality so I just didn't see myself the way that everyone outside of my body saw me. I never saw myself as a fat girl. I just didn't. I never had those body issues that most girls grow up with or around. I could eat at the same rate as my growing teenaged brothers...or more. I kept up with the guys and I shouldn't have. It seems so silly and just stupid to say...but I didn't know. I just didn't. I wasn't sure exactly WHAT a real portion size was. I wasn't sure WHAT a proper meal should look like. I wasn't into exercising...so I didn't.

 After a bad relationship at 20 where I'd gotten fairly big, I felt depressed. Tired. I stopped eating. I started swimming a lot. The weight started to come off. I went home to my mom. I'd spent the rest of that summer walking A LOT. Started out with just going around the block..but built up to about 7 miles a day. I was lifting the weights my younger brother had. I was using his heavy bag to take out my frustrations. I bought a lacy pair of underwear and heels and I'd dance around in my room to Marilyn Manson or Mindless Self Indulgence. I watched what I ate and the weight came off. My confidence was sky high! It was around this time (okay, a couple of short relationships later) that a friend had a friend who was visiting who had a friend who'd just returned from Iraq and moved to Colorado (where I was at the time). He brought him with to a party we were having at my mom's house. I was 21. This guy who I looked up and down. Sneered at. Felt too good for (but he still felt familiar)...became my husband (squee!).

 So..3 babies, many moves, and way too many fast food restaurants later, I was 29 and faced with the truth on the scale below me. 230 pounds. Two hundred and thirty pounds. 

I'm going to change! 

I snapped a couple of quick pictures in the bathroom mirror:

They are horrifying to me *now*...but I'm so glad I have them at the same time. 

I never did BEFORE measurements. I'd lost some weight (16 pounds) then started Power90. I have those measurements:

Chest: 42.5
Right Arm: 12
Left Arm: 12
Waist: 40
Hips: 47
Right Thigh: 24
Left Thigh: 24

Weight: 214 

After completing the 90 days:

Chest: 36
Right Arm: 10
Left Arm: 10
Waist: 34
Hips: 41
Right Thigh: 18.5
Left Thigh: 18.5

Weight: 193

Whoah! Look at those numbers! That program was amazing for me. So then I'd heard about and started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I'd lost another 5 inches from all over. And then I'd heard about C25K (Couch to 5k)...sure, it'd be cool to be a runner. I didn't finish. I was, I think, 4 or 5 runs away from finishing..but I'd stopped on my 30th birthday:

I'd finished off 2012 weighing 176 pounds. At 5'9", I'd felt sexier than I had in years. I still had quite a way to go, of course, but I was at a standstill. And then the holidays..and the baking..and the eating..and then my husband was preparing to deploy to Afghanistan...so we went out. We traveled around and we ate delicious food. My pants got tighter. 

When he left in May, I stepped on the scale. Back up to 194. CRAP! Okay, Abby...it's time to stop messing around. Get serious! Do this! Now's the time, my dear. 

No one's seen these pictures yet...but here they are. My Before shots from June 6th when I'd gotten over being so sad and decided to start.

June 6th Day 1 (again):

Chest (breasts center): 41
Chest (right under): 37.5
Waist: 35
Belly (fullest point): 45
Hips: 43.5
Arms (flexing): 11 each
Thighs (mid-thigh): 20.5 each

Weight: 190.4


I cleaned up my eating..though, I still ate a lot of  "diet" packaged foods. I was more focused on the calorie count at the end of the day and how quickly I could prepare these foods than I was full nutritional value of what I was eating. Still, they were much healthier than fast food and total garbage. I started doing interval training on my treadmill at home. Walk 2 minutes...run for a minute for however many miles I'd planned. I used a weighted hula hoop and the set of weights we have. I was on Pinterest A LOT. Looking up any info I could find on different workouts and food and a TON of motivational pictures to keep me going. It took a lot of experimenting..a lot of trial and error (and I'm STILL experimenting)..and a heck of a lot of dedication. But...I kept going. 

Recently, I joined the local YMCA to use their heavier weights and better equipment (and having someone watch my 2 year old daughter so I could get a decent workout in was a complete plus!). And about 2 weeks ago, I cleaned up my eating even more. I'm trying to focus more on Clean Eating to really get the results I'm interested in seeing. 

October 3rd was my 120 day weigh, tape, and bikini pictures:

Chest (breasts center): 37
Chest (right under): 34
Waist: 30.5
Belly (fullest point): 39
Hips: 39
Arms (flexing): 10.5 (*note here* September's measurement was 10 inches. I'd gained half an inch of muscle)
Thighs (mid-thigh): 18 each
Top of thigh (I'd started this measurement in September at 21.5): 21

Weight: 164.0

Not including the new measurement area, that's a total of 28.5 inches and 30 pounds gone from the points that I keep track of! Not bad. Not bad at all.

I still have plenty of work to do, of course...but I'd like to invite you all along on this journey with me.


Ready?
 <3